The Thing About Strength

Sometimes, the best things about you make the most trouble for you, out in the world, don’t they?

In a light-bulb moment, I learned, that you have to accept your strengths if you want to cultivate a calm, purposeful sense of yourself. If a situation or relationship seems better if you diminish your strengths: it is going to make you weaker, or turn your own sense of self into a brittle sort of ash you will not be able to gather up. It’s like trying to throttle the sun!

Much better to quietly accept who you are, even if you think others will be uncomfortable, and hold on to the certainty that one decision brings; though you may chose to assert that quality in a register that is comfortable to you.

For me, I’m a planner and can take charge of situations. For decades that’s been filed under the pejorative ‘bossy’ in my head. Because don’t you know, you’ve got to be ladylike, you’ve got to be polite, all the time, everywhere!

I’ve therefore held back in expressing myself fully, or appeared quite wishy-washy, in myriad situations. Or when trying to express myself at last, have been overly aggressive. There was less balance and more uneasy striving and strife in my behavior.

In an intense session of introspection late at night, curled up in the armchair in my study, I finally reconciled myself to being the person who can ‘see’ and ‘fix’ or ‘see’ and ‘action’ and so on. And boy, did I feel a seismic shift within myself! I literally felt parts of my brain leap and then settle down in their proper places. A burn that I was not even conscious of seemed to have cooled and healed.

I emerged calmer, more confident and more grounded. A space has been cleared for light and deep joy.

I can do the things I need to do now. I can be me more fully.


It’s a worthwhile endeavor to take around one hour and figure this out for yourself. Just think about how you act and react at home or work and if in any way, you are holding back, though you know better or castigating yourself for being too *insert best qualities*, it’s time to work towards accepting and integrating your strengths with your everyday self.

It’ll all seem much better afterwards. And people around you will welcome the change.

I promise! 🙂

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