I will turn my back completely on fear.
Not be home to it,
Be much too busy to take its calls.
It started with shyness, which is fear in disguise.
Utter fear too – engendered by attempts to ‘toughen me up’.
Utter fearlessness is fear ignored or stifled.
And now, generalized panic and a lost sense of self,
Leading up to a fear of love.
Resulting in nothing getting done.
There is no more space to run.
It has to be normalised, my fear.
Maybe it is actually a symptom of my feeling self coming back?
Emotions switching themselves on, after being frozen for so long?
Hidden under anger?
Anger: fear and hurt colliding.
The little love, the big loves, I therefore have,
Are quite miraculous really.